This weekend, Saturday, May 9th, I finally became a legal adult!

My very kind friends and neighbors threw me a party, which featured a Barbeque for food, and x-box 360 with Gears II and Rock band, (on which we JAMMED for hours) a pool table, fooseball, bacci ball, a golf range ( in their vast back yard)and we topped it all off with a fierce match of Wang-Tang (i still have welts, clear and purple) which ended only with the breaking of our third and final ball. We were forced to declare Tyler the winner, as we only got one good hit on the bastard, which was deflected by his one peice of body armor: his ping pong paddle.

The fest was a blast. I rode through familiar country of my childhood on an ATV around 2 in the morning to return home on the light of a gorgeously large moon. I was blessed with the company of good friends, a box of Space Marines from Mutt, a new, wickedly sharp machete named the Foxclaw from and $120 from friends and family, not to mention Airline Tickets to Seattle, so I can meet my biological father. It was a really good time.

Another thing I noticed about everyone is literally NO ONE knows what or how to play Wang-Tang, the most metal sport since tennis.
The rules are simple. here;s what you need to play:
Ping Pong tabel and 2-4 paddles.
2-4 pain-willing players, male or female.
3 ping pong balls.
2-4 paintball masks (Though this can be played without)
The first rule is clothing is forbidden. The game is played in underwear, though his can be altered for comfort purposes: males are stripped to the waist, though tank-tops are okay. Females are permitted long sleeve shirts or sports bras.
The game is played in format of high speed, double stakes ping pong, though the victors are "tang" the loser's "wang".

When ever a player scores, the loser of the round assumes a spread eagled stance. The victor then bounces the ball once off the table and power strokes it with all possible strength against the exposed body of the victim. This is called Tanging one's Wang. head, tit, and nut shots are fiar game, though men are allowed to proxy their left hands as "cups". Should there be a lack of paintball masks, the ping-pong paddle is held in front of the face with the free hand, providing a facial sheild. Should you score a direct hit, you may continue to mercilessly strike your opponent's bare skin untill you MISS. Lets say I were to score against Chandra, and score a welt on her left breast. i continue then to 'Tang her Wang' untill I miss her completely. The ball hits the wall. My turn is OVER. it is now her turn to serve.

No matter how many times one's wang is tanged, the score always counts as ONE and only ONE.

The game is over with the destruction of the third ball. The victor is detirmined by most points.

So go forth and Wang some TANG!
Now you know.

Also, we sacrificed a melon to the God of Metal by cleving it apart with the Foxclaw's mercilessly sharp edge. We then devoured the delicious melon. It was totally METAl.

Well, thats all for now. I can now legally buy anything I want, except for handguns and booze.

Thanks for listening!

Fox signing out.